I am losing friends left and right, well, actually, only left. Some friendships, however, have been strengthened during this election.
When I was 6, I learned a song: "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold." Even as a child, I was a born raconteur, so I always had lots of friends. But, by the time I got to fourth grade, I was already getting into political brawls. Early on, I began living my politically active mother's joke, "My name, it opens some doors and closes others."
I learned to tone it down a bit by the time I got to college. As a theater major, it was fun in an acting class one day, when we each had to pretend to be another student. I chose to mimic a beautiful petite girl with long dark hair. She was my polar opposite, this former cheerleader-turned-hippie-princess named Michelle. She got a kick out of my impression of her. I thought it was cool that she could laugh at herself. We began a friendship that has brought us to the present day.
Yet we were always opposites. I am Roman Catholic, she is Jewish. I am tall, she is short. One rainy afternoon on campus, Michelle insisted on carrying the umbrella for both of us, (I don't think I stood up straight until the next day!)
Back then, she was as passionate a Democrat as I was a Republican. However, my friend and I still had something in common that was more important than all the differences. We shared the same values and they showed up in a dozen little ways. That is why we are friends almost 30 years later. Furthermore, she had been moving in my direction politically before, but Sept. 11, 2001, brought us to a new level of communication. We have bonded even more during this election.
Sadly, I also have re-eva luated some other friendships as tensions increased due to the Kerry-Edwards demagoguery. This is the first time in memory that I've even been appalled by both spouses of the Democratic ticket. I rather liked Tipper Gore and Hadassa Lieberman. I thought they were sweet. And that's the way I used to feel about my liberal pals. But, now a Teresa Heinz-Kerry-like irrationality/Elizabeth Edwards snotty innuendo has infected some of them -- and it makes them unpleasant to be around.
This election may leave those friendships in its wake. The outlook is definitely not good for their Christmas card inclusion.
Sept. 11, Iraq, the demonization of Israel by Kerry's European fans, the beheadings -- all of the latter just doesn't seem to change the '90s mentality of those I know who are voting for the Democratic Party ticket. Like Kerry, they still seem to consider the United States' life-and-death struggle a nuisance. These liberal friends of mine are certainly not bad people, but deep down, they still don't get that we are at war with a greater evil than any of us has ever known. Combined with the extremism culturally on the left, these people are becoming more than a nuisance themselves.
The sobering fact is that these friendships are just too taxing (in both senses of that word). Those relationships have become like old prom dresses in that they just don't fit anymore. There comes a point where some associations can become a fire hazard in one's closet. It may be time to do spring cleaning, even if the season is autumn.
Sure, friends can't agree on everything, nor are they supposed to but though I may think someone's a nice person, fun, etc., increasingly deep differences in our world view can't be ignored in these frightening times.
Three decades later, Michelle is no longer the shorter-than-me actress who insisted on carrying the umbrella as we walked to class, though she is still shorter than me. But she and I easily walk together under an umbrella of shared concerns. A few weeks ago we sat side by side at a most moving event celebrating Jewish and Christian support of Israel and each other.
Yet, we still live very different lives. My college friend has been married for 25 years to the love of her life, the mother of three and an executive in an entertainment corporation. And meanwhile her single free-lancing writer/actress friend, even after all these years still does impressions of her only in print now.
Happily, others have also come along to become comrades in arms this election. They represent a diversity in lifestyle that would warm any liberal's heart (although said liberal wouldn't warm our hearts). There's Genie the stockbroker, Cathy the casting director, Robin the mom of one of my former acting students, Sally the daughter of one of my mother's old friends and many others. Their e-mail messages and calls let me know that though other friendships may wither during this election, I'm hardly alone. They all have a point of view that enables us to skip to shorthand. ("Did you read Drudge?" "Yep!") All of these women make up my own personal non-elitist version of "The View, The Conservative Cut."
Yes, now those old children's lyrics resonate with a new meaning in "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold." Regretfully, without shared values even after this tumultuous election of 2004, some friendships may have turned to a tin that rings hollow in these perilous times.
By the way, I recently chatted with one of those former Brownies who sang with me so long ago, She is a "security mom." She is voting for George W. Bush and she will definitely be included on my Christmas card list.
Every one of us, rich or poor, should at least have one or two good friends. My friends will listen to me when I want to speak, will wipe my eyes when I cry, will take care of me when I am sick, and my friends will go together with me side by side through this journey of life.
As students, we could share more time with our friends. The friendship in our young hearts is pure, fresh and simple. I often feel very lucky to have a lot of good friends. Especially when I had Justin as one of my best friends. Justin was my English teacher from the USA. I met him in 1996 when I was a student who could only speak very little English. Justin was a vivid young man with a bright smile on his face, and he always had his special way to make the class active and attractive. He taught us English by telling stories, playing games, singing songs, and even dancing. I could still remember very clearly that one afternoon when we fin-ished our class, we went to some other classes to sing songs for them, just like what people do in the states on Christmas Eve. It was so interesting and unforgettable. Justin was an excellent teacher, because he taught us not only how to study English well, but also the way to find out the beauty of the world and the way to be angels to others' lives. I know there was friendship and pure love in our hearts. Facing this valuable emotion neither nationality nor age was important, the real importance lay in faith, under-standing, and care. Justin is the best friend I have ever had, and I know I will cherish those days of staying together with him as the best part of my memory.
Friendship is a kind of treasure in our lives. It is actually like a bottle of wine, the longer it is kept, the sweeter it will be. It is also like a cup of tea. When we are thirsty, it will be our best choice, but when we have enough time to enjoy ourselves, it is also the most fragrant drink.
However, in this fast-developing modern society, the reality is not that. More and more people forget to enjoy the beauty of life and -the beauty of friendship. They work hard in order to gain a higher position, in the society and to earn more money for their work. Of course, we don't deny that it is important to find a bet-ter place in our lives, but we wish more and more people could pay a little more attention to themselves and their friends. All of us have to spare some time for personal lives. We have to find the chance to express our emotion and love. When staying with our friends, we can release ourselves completely. We can do whatever we want, we can laugh together, talk together, and even cry to-gether. I should say that being together with our best friends is the most wonderful moment of our lives.
As we know, we would feel lonely if we didn't even have a friend. But it doesn't mean we could depend on our friends all the time. There is a famous motto saying that “A friend is like a quilt with cotton wadding, but the real thing that keeps you warm is your own temperature.” It is really true. We have to work hard together with our friends, encourage each other and help each other. When we receive love and friendship, we should repay as much as we can.
Finally, let's pray together now that one day, all of us could find the person we want to find, and could enjoy a real beautiful friendship in our lives. Let's pray the flower of friendship be-tween our friends and us would always bloom brightly in our hearts.