上海中考英语作文范文1
I want to invent a time machine
If I have the ability to invent something that could make life better, the first thing that comes into my mind is a time machine. With its help, people could go back to the past conveniently.
We unavoidably make some mistakes that we regret so much, it’s fantastic if we could get another chance to fix it. Besides, it is of great importance to the aged people if they are able toenjoy their youth for a second time.
Although it sounds like an impossible dream to realize, I still believe with the rapid development of science and technology, my idea will become reality some day.
精彩亮点分析：
亮点一：the first thing that comes into mind 首先映入脑海的是。
亮点二：conveniently方便地，便利地。
亮点三：be of great importance名词结构更高端。
亮点四：使用be able to短语替换掉could，避免重复。
亮点五：with the rapid development of science and technology随着科学和技术的迅速发展。
上海中考英语作文范文2
I Want To Invent A Family Doctor Robot
I want to invent a family doctor robot, which can be used to cure the illness without going out of their home. As far as I’m concerned, it will be extremely helpful and useful because of the following reasons:
First, you can see the doctor immediately at home when you feel sick or get hurt. It can save us a lot of time, especially in emergency situations.
Furthermore, hospitals today are always filled with patients, not everyone can be taken good care of. However, with the help of our robot doctors, you can talk to your personal doctor one to one whenever you want.
In short, family doctor robots can make great contribution to our society.
精彩亮点分析：
亮点一：全文巧用“first, furthermore, in short” 等连接词，把家庭机器人医生的好处写的非常清晰，让阅卷老师一目了然。
亮点二：全文采用了定语从句、状语从句、并列句等多种长难句，为文采分增色不少。
亮点三：文中出现了“extremely, make contribution to” 这些超纲单词及词组，恰到好处地强调了家庭机器人医生的重要性，且为文采再次进行润色。
上海中考英语作文范文3
I want to invent a kind of medicine
If you ask me what I want to invent? I will say a kind of medicine which can cure cancer.As we all know, many people suffer from cancer and die at a very young age these years. For this, countless families lost their beloved family members, then feel painful for the rest of their lives. What a terrible thing it is! So, doing something quickly for them is rather necessary, I’d like to devote my life to it!
精彩亮点分析：
亮点一：条件状语从句，主将从现，引出中心思想。
亮点二：at a very young age 在年轻时。
亮点三：beloved 挚爱的。
亮点四：for the rest of their lives 余生。
亮点五：What a terrible thing it is! 感叹句表达这种病的严重性。
亮点六：So, doing something quickly for them is necessary! 主语从句结尾，句式新颖，点明主题。
亮点七： devote one’s life to … 把…献给，强烈表明作者的决心。
上海中考英语作文范文4
I want to invent a robot
Currently, there is a growing awareness that students have a lot of pressure. I want to invent a robot that can help us solve it.
On one hand, it can be regarded as a teacher, that is to say, as long as we are confronted with the problems, we can ask them for help. On the other hand, it enables us to feel relaxed because of the pressure. In other words, it is necessary for us to be faced with the difficulties when it gives us a smile. To calm down helps us to think clearly and make the best decision for us. That’s what I have learnt from its smile.
In a word, the robot not only gives us a helping hand, but also encourages us to discover the power lying within ourselves and achieve our goals.
精彩亮点分析：
亮点一：定语从句修饰对阐述对现状的焦虑
亮点二：用as long as 引导状语从句，抓人眼球
亮点三：to calm down 非谓语结构
亮点四： a helping hand 词组搭配更高端
亮点五：每句不同词组转换
亮点六：结尾升华
上海中考英语作文范文5
I want to invent a time machine
As a student who is experiencing unprecedented modern life nowadays, I would rather learning about the history and the future life of human being from a real experience than learning from a textbook. That’s why if I can work as a great inventor, inventing a time machine will be my first choice. The most important usage of my time machine will be visiting one of best schools in Tang Dynasty. As we all know, Tang Dynasty is famous for its open-minded education. Therefore, when I visit the school of the ancient city, I cannot only try different ways of studying but communicate with people from different countries as well. Using a time machine is the most vivid way to learn history as it is both a record of mankind and a mirror of past, I am looking forward to the day when my time machine comes out.
精彩亮点分析：
亮点一：定语从句修饰对学生现在的生活
亮点二：用would rather … than … 表达学生的意愿
亮点三：用if条件状语从句表达主题
亮点四：be famous for 因…而著名
亮点五：not only … but … as well 不但…而且…
亮点六：用动名词词组做主语
亮点七：用idiom突出历史的重要性
亮点八：定语从句表达学生的期待